They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
