You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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