If i could tip my vagina, i would.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
