Your tits are I can't wait for
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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