OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
True but thats because hes a fetus.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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