i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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