these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
