I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
then he tried to convert me to islam
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
