omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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