so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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