I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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