id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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