so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
