just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
