i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
