When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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