my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
