So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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