TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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