I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
my nose is crying tears of wow.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
