saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
someone owes me an orgasm
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
