i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
