my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
you never un-have a 4some
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