They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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