Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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