youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
