Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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