Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
