They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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