Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Randomize
