dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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