garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Randomize
