grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
