So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Randomize