dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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