it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
