They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
