it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
