if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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