Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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