dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
