How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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