I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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