You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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