Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Randomize
