Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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