it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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