I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
