She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
