you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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