I want to make a zoo with you.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
