Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
