Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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